I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
