Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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