what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize