You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
