Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
