If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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