Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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