no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
