It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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