What did we do last night that was yellow?
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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