I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
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