I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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