biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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