his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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