Can i not drive my cunt home
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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