This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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