we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He keeps bees of course he's weird
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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