If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
