And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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