if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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