I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
