Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
