I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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