Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
