i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
