Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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