All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
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