told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
