that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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