My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i came on her dog
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
