I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
