New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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