Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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