She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
