Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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