i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
