Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
