I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
