i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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