Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
