Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize
