there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
