Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
