My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize
