I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
