She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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