Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you win again, gameday.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
a search helicopter?!
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
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