What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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