Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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