There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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