Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
