he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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