NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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