How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Randomize
